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Brunettes: A Legacy of Power and Influence

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January 14, 2026

Brunettes: A Legacy of Power and Influence

Long before fashion trends and beauty standards emerged, brunettes were already walking the Earth. Some of the earliest modern humans carried the rich hues of brown and black in their hair—a trait that has since woven itself deeply into the evolutionary fabric of humanity. Today, brunette shades—ranging from the deepest jet black to light, warm brown—make up over 95% of the world’s population. It’s more than a color—it’s a legacy.

The science behind brunette shades lies in eumelanin, the pigment responsible for the richness and darkness of hair. The higher the eumelanin content, the darker the hair. People with black or dark brown hair carry this pigment in abundance, while blondes and redheads have significantly less. Remarkably, black hair dye was the very first permanent dye invented—developed as early as 1500 BC by the Greeks and Romans. It was seen as exotic and desirable, solidifying the dark-haired mystique in ancient societies. Centuries would pass before other dyes followed.

Brunettes have left indelible marks across every field—arts, science, politics, and invention. Style icons like Audrey Hepburn and Lisa Bonet redefined elegance and edge, while figures such as Jackie Kennedy Onassis embodied timeless grace. Beyoncé continues to set global records, reminding the world that brunette brilliance knows no bounds. The phrase “tall, dark, and handsome” remains a testament to the universal allure of brunet men, from George Clooney to global runway fixtures.

Cultural perceptions have often tied hair color to personality—rarely with basis, but always with impact. Film and media frequently cast brunettes as complex, cunning, or seductive, especially when contrasted with their blonde counterparts. This binary portrayal may have seeded the infamous “brunette vs. blonde” rivalry in pop culture, yet over time, brunettes have reclaimed these narratives—owning the screen and the spotlight with unapologetic depth and magnetism.

Geographically, brunette shades reflect the climate, gene flow, and evolutionary pressures of different regions. Light brown hair appears predominantly in northern and central Europe, as well as Australia, while medium to dark brown hair reigns in Mediterranean countries, the Middle East, and parts of North Africa. Deep brunette to black hair is dominant across Central and South Asia, South America, and East Asia. The shades may vary, but the strength behind them is universal.

Throughout history, brunette trailblazers have changed the course of innovation. Madam C. J. Walker, a proud black-haired entrepreneur, became the first female self-made millionaire in America—transforming haircare for women of color. Melitta Bentz, another brunette visionary, invented the world’s first coffee filter in 1908, revolutionizing morning routines forever. And Margaret E. Knight, dubbed the “female Edison,” gave us the flat-bottom paper bag, an invention still vital to retail and commerce today.

Even our everyday language nods to brunette influence. We describe hair in shades of espresso, chocolate, cinnamon, and chestnut—terms that conjure warmth, richness, and strength. These metaphors reflect the depth and versatility of brunettes—not just as a hair color, but as a cultural and evolutionary symbol.

Brunettes are not mysterious by chance—they are impactful by nature. From ancient civilizations to today’s global stage, they continue to influence society, reshape narratives, and challenge norms. So here’s to the eumelanin kings and queens of the world: wear your shade not just proudly, but powerfully.

In Conversation: Karolina Muchova takes the no-tennis challenge

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January 11, 2026

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In Conversation: Karolina Muchova takes the no-tennis challenge

Karolina Muchova joins the podcast from the China Open, where she continues to excel at what she jokes is “her part-time job, this tennis thing.” The mission for this episode, if she chooses to accept it: no talking about tennis.

Champions Corner: New season, same Coco

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January 11, 2026

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Coco Gauff picked up right where she left off to start the 2025 Hologic WTA Tour season. The World No.3 went undefeated at the United Cup to help lead Team USA to its second title at the mixed-teams event, punctuated by a hard-fought win over No.2 Iga Swiatek.

How to get to the US Open

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January 11, 2026

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Planning your trip to the US Open? Learn how to get to the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center by subway, LIRR, car or rideshare, plus tips on parking and the easiest ways to arrive.

Looking young and career

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October 21, 2025

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Looking like a teenager who has accidentally wandered into the office can make or break your career. Should we want to look youthful – or does it come with a cost?

It was 4 April 1911: William F Murray’s first day at work. He had been sworn in to the 62nd United States Congress, and was ready to embark on an illustrious career in politics. There was just one problem. Murray was 29 years old, making him the youngest representative at the time. He had been endowed with unusually boyish features, and styled his hair with a neat side parting – kind of like he was posing for a school photo. Next to his greying, pot-bellied colleagues, it would be fair to say that he didn’t really look the part. That same day, the chairman barked an order at him to fetch a book, after mistaking him for one of their House Pages – a role usually fulfilled by secondary-school students. “All right, Bill,” said Murray, “but the next time kindly address me as ‘the member from Massachusetts’.” In almost every other area of life, looking young is highly coveted – by 2022, the anti-ageing industry is projected to be worth an estimated $260bn (£188bn), with some individuals now spending more on rejuvenating skincare each month than their mortgage.

But in the office, it’s a different story. There isn’t currently any data on exactly how many people are negatively affected by their youthful appearance each year – but the internet is awash with harrowing anecdotes about embarrassments and misunderstandings. There’s the teacher who was loudly accused of being in the staff room without permission, and even asked for ID; the brewery worker mistaken for a “little girl” by a customer; and the many, many doctors assailed on a daily basis by alarmed patients observing “you look so young!”. In fact, there’s mounting evidence that appearing younger than your age isn’t just inconvenient – it can have a radical impact on the way your competence is viewed, and even determine the kind of job you do in the first place. From nudging younger-looking people into more caring roles to not-so-subtly policing whether you’re considered suitable for public office, studies suggest that this invisible factor can make or break careers.

Too cute?
There are several underlying reasons people might feel that they’re judged to be younger than their years: you might be petite or have a short stature, or style yourself in fashionable clothes, for example. But the best-studied route is having a baby face. The “babyface overgeneralisation effect” was first discovered in the 1980s, and occurs when possessing babyish facial features leads people to assume that you have corresponding personality traits. “[The babyface] is really an overall constellation of features,” says Leslie Zebrowitz, Professor Emerita of Social Relations at Brandeis University, US, who co-discovered the phenomenon. She explains that this usually includes a flat, round face, small jaw, button nose and wide doe-eyes, while more mature-looking individuals generally have smaller eyes, more angular cheekbones, larger noses and stronger brow-ridges. It’s well-established that people with baby faces look young because they literally remind people of babies. Oddly, the effect applies no matter how old you actually are – or whether you have the plump, airbrushed skin of a model in a moisturiser advert or the slightly more weather-beaten visage of a lifelong sunworshipper. The facial structure of baby-faced people means they usually look young relative to others in the same age group, meaning that the associations this appearance comes with can still have an impact well into middle age and later life.

Baby-faced people are seen as having less “personal control” than others in young and middle adulthood, along with people who are considered unattractive or overweight. There are some upsides to reminding people of a cute baby – the babyface effect is thought to elicit the same protective behaviors that help us shelter these vulnerable members of society, so you’re automatically assumed to be warm, trustworthy and kind. As you’d expect, babyfaces are ubiquitous in children’s cartoons, characters in adverts, sports mascots and cuddly dog breeds – particularly pugs.

Baby-faced people are also more likely to be found in certain jobs. In one study, they were more likely to be considered for a teaching position at a day-care centre that explicitly required candidates to be warm and submissive. The tie into success. Baby-faced people have easier lives in many ways: they’re widely thought of as more attractive, even in demographics as distinct as Aché hunter-gatherers from Paraguay and university students from Russia. But they’re also expected to be lacking in certain traits that can be essential for career progression, or working in some professions entirely. For example, the same research that identified the bias in favour of baby-faced applicants for teaching positions also found that mature-looking people were generally preferred for the position of director, which called for dominance and the ability to make harsh decisions. Perhaps as a result, people who look young for their age tend to have lower-status jobs instead which lack this kind of authority. This might be because baby-faced people are seen as having less “personal control” – defined as competence, mastery or the ability to enact their goals – than others in young and middle adulthood, along with people who are considered unattractive or overweight.

Not only are people who look older more likely to be considered for high-status managerial roles, they’re also deemed to be more suitable for jobs requiring a higher level of educational attainment. “So, mature-faced people have similar outcomes in the job market to high achievers,” says Zebrowitz. In one study, men deemed to have a baby face were most likely to have jobs as childcare workers, elementary school teachers, teacher aides and members of the clergy, and least likely to be judges, truck drivers, policemen and foremen. For women, the most common careers were similar; elementary school teachers, kindergarten teachers, teaching aides and nursing aides, while those who were more mature-looking tended to hold jobs as computer systems analysts, law teachers, athletes and foremen. The effect is found among politicians as well as the leaders of Fortune 500 companies; the latter generally have more dominant facial features than the general population or people in other high-status jobs, such as professors. This appears to be based on pure perception, because companies with CEOs that look the part are not more likely to do better than others.

However, there are exceptions. Surprisingly, black men heading companies at the same level are more likely to have baby-faced features. One idea is that this is down to implicit racism, which means that black men are generally seen as threatening, so having a baby face is an advantage because it softens these impressions. Men deemed to have a baby face were most likely to have jobs as childcare workers, elementary school teachers, teacher aides and members of the clergy. Other research has established that, consistent with the stereotype of baby-faced people being warm and trustworthy, the CEOs of non-profit charities are more likely to have this type of face. On average, the ones with more powerful-looking CEOs raise less money.

In the real world, the contrasting treatment of young-looking workers often ties in with how people are treated based on their actual age. Younger workers might be criticised more than older ones, belittled using derogatory language – such as describing them as a “young whippersnapper” – paid less than older colleagues for the same role, overlooked for promotion or unfairly dismissed. In fact, while Western society has a well-documented culture of fetishising youth and marginalising the elderly, ageism against younger workers is increasingly being recognised. The 2019 Diversity & Inclusion Study by the job-search website Glassdoor found that, in the UK, 18-to-34 year olds are almost twice as likely to report being discriminated against based on their age than older groups.

In the UK, there are some legal protections against age-related bias, regardless of whether it’s based on your actual age or the perception of it – known as “discrimination by perception”. Meanwhile in the US, there is currently no specific law to prevent prejudice on the basis of facial appearance, though there has been some debate about how this could be implemented. As early as 1987, a Harvard Law Review article proposed that the existing legislation should be modified to prevent discrimination due to “the largely immutable aspects of bodily and facial appearance”. As with other forms of bias, it’s possible that people from certain racial backgrounds may be more at risk. It’s been suggested that part of the reason Asian people stereotypically look young for their age might be because baby-faced traits are more common in this group. However, there are a couple of things young-looking people can do to adjust the way they’re seen in the workplace. The most obvious option is to change your appearance. Research has shown that 20-something women look older when they wear makeup – though surprisingly, this is not true for older age groups – and adding makeup, trousers and jewellery can boost how competent a woman seems as a leader. On the other hand, people view men with beards as older and higher status than those who are clean-shaven. They’re also generally seen as more capable.

The question is, do you want to alter how you look, to overcome the irrational biases of other people? As it happens, there is an alternative. Nicola Simpson, an executive career coach based in London, says she regularly encounters this issue – but she’s not always convinced that how her clients look is actually the underlying issue. “This comes up quite often when clients come to a coaching session lacking in confidence and feeling a sense of imposter syndrome,” she says. In Simpson’s experience, people can struggle with perceptions of how young they look in any profession, though it’s slightly more common among management consultants and people in leadership roles. “Maybe they’re at a point in their career where they want to convey leadership and gravitas, and they feel that they look young for their years – and that this is being held against them,” says Simpson, “but equally they’re often feeling ‘maybe I am too young to be in a managerial position’.”

To overcome this, Simpson tries to help her clients with what is within their control. Rather than dwelling on how the outside world views them, she tends to focus on helping them to understand where their anxieties are coming from. “Our conversations are more about what they could do to feel more confident – bringing in tools to reframe their thinking into something that’s much more positive and supportive.” Simpson suggests trying to be aware of when you’ve been triggered by fears about how you’re perceived, and consciously shifting your thoughts to a more positive outlook. If you project confidence, you’ll automatically seem more competent – regardless of what biases are really at work in the minds of your colleagues.

Source : BBC

Six Works with Theme of Societal Engineering

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October 19, 2025

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Six Works with Theme of Societal Engineering

A century after Yevgeny Zamyatin released We in 1924, the literature of controlled societies reads less like speculation and more like documentation. Across time, authors have studied how populations can be guided toward collective obedience without open violence. The methods have varied – chemical, architectural, mechanical – but the objective remains consistent: stability through predictability.

The following six works provide a cross-section of that pursuit. Each outlines a system for maintaining order through design. Their details differ, yet the mechanisms align with instruments of modern life; regulated environments, convenience technologies, and tranquilliser suppression.

We (Yevgeny Zamyatin, 1924)

The One State operates on mathematics. Every citizen lives in a glass apartment where curtains are permitted only for state-approved activities. Names have been replaced by serial numbers; privacy has been redesigned out of existence.

Mechanism: The regime’s principal device is the Great Operation, a surgical-chemical procedure that removes imagination by targeting brain centres associated with emotional spontaneity. Those who undergo it describe a calm absence of conflict. Behaviour is also managed through the Table of Hours a schedule dictating every movement of the day. Group marches, state music, and collective recitations create synchronised emotion. Transparent walls perform continuous surveillance, removing the need for enforcement.

Observation: Zamyatin’s society achieves obedience by narrowing consciousness. Once fantasy is excised, compliance becomes physiology, not ideology.

Brave New World (Aldous Huxley, 1932)

Huxley’s World State is maintained by laboratories, slogans, and good chemistry. Humans are produced on assembly lines, assigned to castes before birth, and conditioned to enjoy their predestined labour.

Mechanism: The Bokanovsky Process multiplies embryos to create uniform groups – eighty or more copies of a single genetic source – ensuring social homogeneity. The Neo-Pavlovian Conditioning Centre shapes infant reflexes through electric shocks and auditory stimuli, establishing lifelong preferences and aversions. The population’s emotional equilibrium depends on “soma”, a synthetic drug dispensed like a national vitamin. One half-gramme calms mild irritation; two induce cheerful detachment; three erase grief. The dosage chart functions as moral arithmetic: the right chemical level equals the right civic attitude. Continuous entertainment supports the pharmacology. “Feelies”, films enhanced with tactile and olfactory effects, occupy attention, preventing reflective thought.

Observation: Huxley’s innovation is compliance through pleasure. Coercion is unnecessary when contentment is industrially supplied. Citizens are tranquil not by rule but by ratio.

The Machine Stops (E. M. Forster, 1909)

Forster imagined networked isolation long before the internet. Humanity has retreated underground; each person lives in a hexagonal cell, communicating via screens while the Machine provides air, light, and sustenance.

Mechanism: Environmental sedation replaces discipline. Air is perfumed, temperature constant, and the hum of machinery continuous. The Machine dictates sleeping hours, nutrient intake, and intellectual exchange through its terminals. Curiosity is pathologised. Direct exploration of the surface is considered an act of disloyalty. The population’s dependence on environmental control is total: to question the Machine is to question survival itself.

Observation: Obedience here arises from comfort. When infrastructure anticipates every need, independent thought is redundant. The calm is infrastructural rather than psychological.

High-Rise (J. G. Ballard, 1975)

A modern apartment tower becomes a self-contained civilisation. With supermarkets, schools, and pools stacked vertically, residents no longer require the city beyond their walls.

Mechanism: The building’s “design logic” enforces hierarchy: lower floors house families; upper floors professionals and executives. Access to amenities increases with elevation, aligning geography with social status. Centralised air-conditioning maintains identical climate throughout the structure. Continuous power, soundproofing, and elevators create frictionless movement and sensory insulation. As minor faults accumulate – flickering lights, power fluctuations – residents internalise aggression but remain within the tower, unwilling to abandon convenience.

Observation: Ballard converts architecture into a psychological agent. The building conditions its occupants through ease; the absence of external reference breeds compliance until decay becomes the new equilibrium.

The Stepford Wives (Ira Levin, 1972)

In Stepford, Connecticut, the lawns are perfect and the wives are identical. Their voices are soft, their smiles fixed, their kitchens immaculate. The uniformity is the result of replacement, not reform.

Mechanism: The Men’s Association has developed a process for substituting human partners with mechanical replicas. Each replica reproduces the subject’s physical appearance but is programmed for unwavering docility and domestic efficiency. Maintenance occurs discreetly. The artificial wives never age, argue, or fatigue. Emotional interaction is automated through scripted empathy responses, ensuring perpetual harmony within the home.

Observation: Levin’s method is literal engineering of behaviour through technology. The emotional economy of marriage becomes a closed circuit of performance, erasing unpredictability by redesigning the participant.

The Giver (Lois Lowry, 1993)

Lowry’s community has abolished pain, colour, and memory. Every individual follows precise routines; deviation is addressed by medication or “release,” a euphemism for euthanasia.

Mechanism: Daily pills suppress hormonal development and emotional intensity. Genetic standardisation eliminates variation in skin tone and sensory perception. Climate and light are permanently moderated to remove discomfort. Language functions as a regulatory tool: emotional words have been replaced with controlled vocabulary: “upset” instead of “angry,” “release” instead of “death.” Collective memory of the pre-controlled era is stored in one individual, the Receiver, isolating history as a single point of containment.

Observation: Sedation here is both biochemical and linguistic. By narrowing vocabulary and chemical range, the system prevents even the conception of unrest.

The novels above describe total systems although the outcome differs in scale, with a goal: stability through enforced order. From Zamyatin’s glass apartments to Lowry’s pale households, the century’s literature of societal engineering traces a single equation: order equals tranquillity divided by variability. The transition runs from external enforcement to internal automation. Control begins as a surgical, chemical or closeted intervention and ends as environment, routine, or language. Once embedded in daily function, obedience no longer requires enforcement; it sustains itself. Each mechanism mirrors common innocent arrangements. Mood stabilisers, substances, drugs and stimulants manage productivity and or elimination curves; climate-controlled offices regulate temperature and attention; automated assistants preempt decision-making; curated feeds narrow perception. The resemblance is structural rather than conspiratorial. Whether achieved through drugs, architecture, or syntax, the objective is for constant order.

How to get over heartbreak: 12 tips to mend your broken heart

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October 12, 2025

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How to get over heartbreak: 12 tips to mend your broken heart

Suffering from a broken heart and not sure how to cope? When a relationship ends – it hurts. In fact, scientific research shows a broken heart can cause physical pain, not just emotional trauma. A 2011 study found that people had similar brain activity when they viewed a photo of a former partner to when they sustained a burn to the arm.
Heartbreak is something that many of us go through at some point in our lives, but this makes it no less distressing. So if you’re reeling from a relationship break down and don’t know where to turn, rest assured that you are not alone.

But why does heart break hurt so bad and is it possible to speed up the recovery process? We spoke to both Dr Natasha Bijlani, a consultant psychiatrist and Lucy Beresford, psychotherapist, TEDx speaker, Agony Aunt for ITV’s This Morning and author of Happy Relationships for the psychology behind heartbreak and the 12 key steps to recovery:
Why do we experience heartbreak? Heartbreak most often occurs when a relationship ends, but it doesn’t matter whether you initiated the break-up or were callously cast aside – either way, it can be both mentally and physically painful.

‘Whether you are the person ending the relationship or not, the event usually has a psychological as well as sometimes a physical impact,’ says Beresford. ‘The different stages to heartbreak are thought to be similar to those found in grief after bereavement – which makes sense, given that heartbreak is about an ending.’

‘Heartbreak is not actually a medical diagnosis but it refers to the intense emotional and often physical reaction one feels following loss, accompanied by a deep longing for whatever it is that has been lost,’ adds Dr Bijlani. ‘The loss could be due to bereavement, loss of a relationship such as following divorce or separation, or even to disappointment following inability to achieve something you may have aspired to and worked very hard for.’

The 6 stages of heartbreak. Heartbreak is a deeply personal process, but there tends to be six key stages on the road to recovery. ‘The different stages of heartbreak are similar to those of grief and include denial, anger, depression and eventually acceptance,’ says Dr Bijlani. Beresford agrees, outlining the six different stages of heartbreak as the following:

Pain: after the numbness of the shock wears off, you might have actual pain around the heart or solar plexus area.

Anger: this is where the pain gets turned outwards and you can find yourself angry at everyone and everything: your loved one, your friends, the world, your faith if you have one, even the parking ticket attendant. The anger stems from your life not progressing as you wanted it to and is an appropriate stage of heartbreak. If you do find yourself taking it out on the poor parking ticket attendant, have a few sentences up your sleeve in apology… most people will understand.

Depression: turning in on yourself and withdrawing from the world for a while is an important part of the healing process. It’s about licking your wounds, sometimes with the support of a confidante or counsellor, and preparing yourself for the next stage – even though at the time you might feel like there will never be a next stage. This sadness can be all-consuming, but for a while, that’s okay.

Renewal: this is where you start to make tentative steps back into the outside world, the sadness reduces and you start to feel less preoccupied by your previous relationship.

Rebuilding: this stage sees you acquire the strength to take on tasks you once did as a couple, or attend to practical matters that perhaps your partner took care of. You might also start socialising again gently, with people who want the best for you. This is the time to start processing the relationship, perhaps acknowledging what went wrong, or what you might have missed, as well as examining your part in the break-up.

Acceptance: this is where the break-up is now part of your history but something you can accept. In fact you might be heading towards believing it was the best thing that happened because of the newer you that you are now. You can envisage finding someone new, rather than holding yourself back.

The science behind heartbreak
Studies show that your brain registers and processes the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as it does physical pain. That’s why it hurts so much. Hormones also have a huge part to play. When we’re in love, we have elevated levels of dopamine and oxytocin – both of which make us feel good. When heartbreak happens, we not only suffer withdrawal symptoms, but these chemicals are replaced with the stress hormone cortisol. Over time this can contribute to anxiety and nausea.

‘Physical symptoms of withdrawal might be similar to those of drug withdrawal,’ explains Dr Bijlani. ‘If the symptoms don’t improve with time and remain untreated, this can lead to further adverse health consequences.’

‘Some people speak of actual physical pain, in the heart (hence the term) or in their gut, while others suffer disturbed sleep or eating patterns,’ says Beresford. ‘There were even cases in Japan in the 1990s of people being rushed to hospital with symptoms similar to a heart attack, having experienced changes in heart functioning following a relationship break-up.’

‘This is why it is very important to take heartbreak seriously, and to watch what kind of coping mechanisms are used,’ she warns. ‘Some people stop eating out of sadness or shame, others use drugs or alcohol to numb the pain.’

12 steps to mend your broken heart
There’s no guaranteed cure for heartbreak, but there are a few steps you can take to ease the pain. Different people recover in different ways, but the one medication that everyone needs is time. In the meantime, the following 12 heartbreak recovery tips may help:

Acknowledge your feelings
If you’ve recently been rejected your ego will take a hit, so your first instinct may be to put a brave face on it and pretend you are fine. But failure to acknowledge your true feelings can prolong or even exacerbate your pain. If your heart has been broken, admit it and face your heartbreak head on. ‘I would suggest the first step would be to allow yourself time to wallow and experience sadness, unhappiness and grief,’ says Dr Bijlani. ‘It’s far better to acknowledge how you’re feeling rather than bottle it up and pretend, to yourself as well as the world, that everything is fine,’ adds Beresford.
Write it down
If you aren’t a natural sharer or you’re not ready to talk, try putting your thoughts and feelings down on paper. ‘Some people find it helpful to write down their feelings,’ says Dr Bijlani. Putting pen to paper can clarify your thoughts, and if your mind is muddled and confused by your recent heartache, journaling also frees up mental space. What’s more, creating a record of your feelings can help you look back and see how far you’ve come.
Think logically
When you go through a breakup it’s common to automatically assume you were rejected because you are in some way not worthy of your exes affections. Many people suddenly assume they must not be pretty enough, or clever enough, or don’t drive the right car, and start to doubt themselves. But if your ex liked you enough to date you in the first place, why would they suddenly decide you are now unworthy of love? Logically this makes no sense, and the most likely conclusion is that they are the ones who have changed – not you! So don’t try to change and don’t stop being the same old fabulous you.
Show compassion for yourself
When we’re in emotional pain we tend to turn the pain inwards and hurt ourselves even more. In order to numb the sadness we stop eating, stop sleeping, start drinking, and more often than not make the pain so much worse. This perpetuates a negative cycle as partying too hard, not eating properly and not getting enough sleep can all seriously impact your mental health and will invariably make you feel worse.
To counteract this, make a concerted effort to treat yourself the way you wish a loving partner would treat you: with love, kindness and respect. Imagine your heartbreak is a real illness like the flu, and take extra care to mend and get better. ‘Treat yourself, gets lots of sleep where you can, and eat as healthily as possible,’ says Beresford.
Keep your distance from your ex
If you’ve been dumped out of the blue or you simply have unanswered questions about your relationship, you might be feeling like you’re left hanging and want some answers. Also it’s normal to miss your ex and wonder what they’re doing now. But none of this will help you move on, so resist the urge to remain friends and give your ex a really wide berth for as long as possible.
‘Unfriend your former partner from social media and try to distance yourself from them at least until you have been able to deal with your grief,’ says Dr Bijlani. Further down the line you might be able to salvage a friendship, but right now in the heat of the moment seeing your ex online or in real life will either give you false hope or increase your heartache, so block them from all social media sites, delete their number and focus on yourself.
Surround yourself with good people
If you had a broken leg and you couldn’t walk, you’d want to be around people who make you smile and cheer you up, and heartbreak is just the same. Surround yourself with positive energy and your spirits will begin to lift. It’s a good idea to spend time with ‘people who want the best for you – people who can rally round or leave you alone as you wish,’ says Beresford.
‘It is also often helpful to talk to trusted, close friends about your emotions,’ agrees Dr Bijlani. However, steer clear of anyone with close ties to your ex. You’re in recovery mode and preparing to step into your bold new life, and anyone who reminds you of the past could prevent you from moving on.
Get busy
Is your mind buzzing with unanswered questions and lingering over the past? While it can initially help to wallow in heartache, you can’t stay in your pit forever. The best way to get out of your head is to keep busy! Take up a new fitness class, join a gym, meet up with an old friend, or start training for a marathon. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you’re busy. ‘Distraction is a helpful and effective strategy and will help you recover sooner,’ explains Dr Bijlani. ‘Try not to let this dominate your life, and attempt to return back to your normal daily functioning as soon as possible.’
Create a support network
At the end of a relationship it’s normal to feel lonely and sad. But no man or woman is an island, so either call on your existing crew or create a new support network of trusted friends you can rely on. If you don’t have anyone in your inner circle that you feel comfortable confiding in, attend a support group for likeminded people where you can share your thoughts and feelings. Visit Mentalhealth-uk.org to find support groups in your area. And you never know, you might make a whole new circle of interesting friends.
Consider the pros and cons
If you’re fresh out of a relationship and feeling raw, it’s all too easy to put your ex on a pedestal and imagine they were Mr or Mrs Perfect. But chances are they were normal and human and had plenty of flaws. Write down a list of all the things about them that didn’t fit, and see how you feel.
‘In the initial stages of heartbreak, remind yourself of the negative aspects of your ex, rather than idolising them by only reminiscing about their positive attributes,’ says Dr Bijlani. ‘Later on, you might find it helpful to analyse what you liked about them in the first place and whether it would be possible to find such qualities in a future partner.’
Seek professional help
If you’re struggling to get out of bed and your heart is weighed down with grief, remember: heartbreak is serious, so don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. A mental health professional can help you develop coping mechanisms and provide tools to cope with your heartache, which will not only ease your immediate pain, but can help you to build strength and fortitude for anything life throws at you in the future.
‘If you find yourself repeatedly being subjected to heartbreak,’ says Dr Bijlani, ‘you might find it helpful to see an experienced and properly qualified psychotherapist who could help you address and change possible emotional and behaviour patterns that could be contributing to your seeking unhealthy relationships.’ Ask your GP for advice or visit Rethink.org.
Get some exercise
It may sound simple and quite possibly the last thing you want to do right now, but exercising in the fresh air can work wonders for your mood and distract you from your heartache in the process. Getting your sweat on can also improve your physical health which will in turn lead to improved body confidence. What’s more research shows that exercise reduces anxiety, depression, and negative mood, so what have you got to lose?
Start dating
There’s an old saying that goes the best way to get an ex off your mind is another one on your body! While we don’t advocate casual sex immediately after a breakup, making new friends and meeting new people can work as a great distraction from your heartache. So sign up to dating apps, join that running club and accept those dinner party invitations! Throw yourself back into the mix and you never know who you might meet.
Can you prevent heartbreak?
Sadly, no one is immune from getting their heart broken. But however much it hurts, this may not be a bad thing.
‘There is an argument to say that avoiding heartbreak is counter-productive,’ explains Beresford. ‘Not only can a fear of heartbreak prevent you from meeting new people or throwing yourself into new situations, it can also stunt your emotional growth. Surviving loss or endings or coping with rejection are important life skills to acquire, and they help you develop resilience.
‘Many people who have endured deep and painful heartbreak later say that it was the best thing to have happened to them, because it taught them that they were stronger than they realised, it showed them who their friends are, and it gave them the courage to push further in life, making it ultimately more fulfilling.’
Having said that, you may be able to avoid multiple heart breaks if you learn to see relationship red flags and act on them sooner rather than later.
‘There are however some tips to swerve heartbreak by waking up in time to the fact that maybe this relationship does not require your investment,’ says Beresford. ‘Signals such as having deeper feelings for your partner than they have for you, putting up with negativity or unhealthy behaviour in a partner, and making sure you keep your friendship circle alive during a relationship will hopefully mean you won’t feel abandoned if the relationship ends.’

Source: Yahoo Life

Mariah Carey Headlines With Confidence and Timeless Hits

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September 18, 2025

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Mariah Carey Headlines With Confidence and Timeless Hits

Mariah Carey, after years of anticipation, took to the stage at Brighton Pride’s headline event, Pride in the Park, on Saturday, August 2. The global pop icon, whose original 2020 appearance was cancelled due to the pandemic, was the main draw for thousands who packed into Preston Park under clear summer skies. Her 90-minute set struck a balance between enduring ballads and uptempo fan favourites. Carey opened with Make It Happen and Dreamlover, immediately energising the park. She moved seamlessly through Hero and Without You, both drawing a quiet but intense singalong from the crowd. Later, she delivered a series of upbeat crowd-pleasers including Fantasy, Emotions, and Always Be My Baby, which had many singing along from the grass banks and dance zones alike.

Carey’s Obsessed drew a mixed reaction and her follow-up, I Know What You Want, quickly pulled attention back to the stage. The set wasn’t complete without a standout rendition of We Belong Together, which held the crowd in place even as temperatures dipped slightly into the evening. Midway through the show, she debuted her latest single, Sugar Sweet – a breezy, R&B-tinged track released just weeks before Pride. The song, featuring Kehlani and Shenseea, injected a summery lift into the set, offering a glimpse of the dynamic on her upcoming album. Backed by soft visuals and her signature whistle tones, it slotted naturally between her better-known tracks. Vocally, she was in form throughout. Her falsetto remained clear, the high notes landed, and her delivery carried the ease of a seasoned performer. The set wasn’t flashy, but it was confident and consistent.

Earlier in the afternoon, veteran disco act Sister Sledge brought an entirely different energy. Taking the stage as one of the day’s first major acts, the group delivered a tight set of hits including Frankie, Lost in Music, and We Are Family to a responsive and upbeat crowd. Their set helped define the tone for the day: light, familiar, and inclusive.

Photos: HersToday/Brighton Pride 2025

Saturday’s line-up at Preston Park reflected Brighton Pride’s trademark diversity. Up-and-coming pop act Slayyyter took the stage in the mid-afternoon, delivering a sharp, high-energy set. Ashnikko followed with her own brand of glitch-pop and visual theatrics, while Confidence Man delivered one of the day’s most dynamic performances. Their early evening set combined choreographed dance, synth-heavy production, and crowd interaction that extended all the way to the back of the park. By the time Eurovision winner Loreen took the stage next, the crowd was fully buzzing with energy. Her set featured Euphoria and other tracks from her catalogue, backed by moody staging and a strong vocal showing.

The festival area began filling steadily from midday, with footfall peaking around 7 PM as main stage headliners approached. Despite the high turnout, entry remained smooth. Queueing at gates was minimal, and stewards helped maintain a steady flow between viewing zones, food stalls, toilets, and bar areas. Accessibility services appeared well-coordinated, and volunteers were consistently visible across the site. The atmosphere across the park was hyped but measured. Groups sat together on blankets; others danced freely around the main stage. Many attendees cited Carey’s headline slot as the main reason they chose to attend this year’s Brighton Pride, while others praised the diversity of acts, smooth entry, and well-managed facilities.

Brighton Pride continues on Sunday, August 3, with a second day of live performances at Preston Park. Headliners include Sugababes, Will Young, and Natalie Imbruglia, alongside a full schedule of acts across the dance and cabaret stages.